Cooking Show
Jessica
Grandparents bestow upon their grandchildren the strength
and wisdom that time has given them. Grandchildren bless their grandparents
with youthful vitality and innocence that help them stay young at heart
forever. Together they create a chain of love linking the past with the future.
The chain may lengthen, but it will never part.
-Author Unknown
One day while helping my Grandmother prepare dinner I asked
her if we could pretend we were on a cooking show. Her eyes lit up. She said,
“But what will we call it?” “How about
Cooking with Grandma and Jess!?” We
lined up all the ingredients and showed each to the imaginary camera man in the
distance. We cracked eggs, cut up chicken, dipped and coated it, and popped in
the oven. We chopped up vegetables for a salad, carefully explaining each step
in detail to our imaginary fans. Not only did we prepare a meal for our family,
we taught our audience how to prepare one for theirs. I remember bursting with
excitement as I told them to tune in to next week’s episode of “Cooking with
Grandma and Jess”. My grandmother nurtured each grandchild’s interests equally
but on that day I was the star of the show.
Take me out to the
Ball Game
Mark
I was young, maybe 5, when Grandpa decided it was time for
my first Red Sox game. I wake up early that day and put on my little red
jersey. We boarded the big bus with the cushy seats and tv's ; I was amazed ,
TVs on a bus ! During the ride Grandpa tells me all the exciting things I would
experience at the game. I grew antsy and had to work to stay calm in my seat.
Finally we reached our destination. We had our tickets
ripped and entered the turnstiles. Then we took a couple flights of stairs up
to our seats. “There it is. “, Grandpa said. I peered up from under my baseball
cap. THE GREEN MONSTER stood before me in all of its glory. I settled into the
hard plastic seat and put my baseball glove on my lap; I've been practicing my
catching all week in case a ball came our way.
The smells of sugar and butter filled the air as spectators
began to take their seats. “Peanuts! Get your peanuts here! Hot dogs! Ice
cream! Ice cold beer here! “Grandpa ordered us hot dogs, peanuts, and a big
cold coke to share. I don't remember the game starting. When I woke up we were
on the bus. Grandpa smiled at me “Did you have a good time ? “ Best time of my
life. “ I nuzzled into his shoulder and fell back to sleep.
And this memory continues to serve as one of the best days
of my life. Even though Grandpa missed
his favorite team play, he didn't ever make me realize it. He taught me that
sometimes there is more satisfaction to making someone else happy than
yourself.
Be The Change
Jessica
Be the change you
wish to see in the world. -Ghandi
I groan as my alarm
rings at 8:00 on Sunday morning. I hit snooze and pull my covers tighter to me,
curling into a ball. I realize it is the day I am joining my grandparents at
"the bridge " . The bridge is an area in Bridgeport, CT where once a
month their parish goes and hands out items to the poor. As I get ready in the
morning, I realize that each thing I do I take for granted ..the ability to get
out of a warm bed , put on clean clothes , eat a nutritious breakfast , and get into my own car to go where
I need to.
After the cars are
loaded we join for prayer. As we approach the bridge there are already people
waiting in line. I see a man eagerly look at each of us and his eyes light up
at the sight of my grandfather. “Frank , glad to see you !" My grandfather
shakes his hand and hands him a pair of underwear. Reusable bags are handed out
to each person in line as it begins to grow. Once tables are set up ,the
assembly line begins : toiletries ,food ,water ,socks, underwear ,and gloves. A
box of pizza is opened and passed along the line.
Items are dropped in
each bag as they move quickly past the tables. Gratitude echoes everywhere :
" Thank you baby " , "God bless you " , " Thank you so
much" . A woman asks my grandmother for two pairs of underwear because she
lives in a shelter and can only do laundry once a week.
After all of the
items are passed out, the parish gathers again for prayer. This time they are
joined by the recipients of today's bags. As most grab hands, names are shouted
that need special prayers “For my daughter battling cancer “For Cindy “. Then
"Our Father" is then recited, first in Spanish, then in English. My
grandmother squeezes my hand tightly on "amen”.
We walk back to the
car to head home. I wonder where everyone else is going to. We have given them
one meal, but where will they get their next? We have given them soap but will
they have a place to shower? As I return home with my loving family, who will
they return to? If you are wondering why someone doesn't do something about
these problems remember one thing: YOU are someone. Be the change.
“Can Do Girl”
Patty
I remember the day Dad told me I was a “Can Do” girl and
that I should NEVER have any doubt in my ability to fulfill anything in life
that I choose. It seems like yesterday that I was deciding on colleges while in
my junior year. I was told that Emerson College would be a “reach school” by
the Guidance Counselor. As has always been his line, Dad looked at me with
those loving brown eyes , put his arms around me so tight I thought I might
stop breathing, and told me that if that is where I chose to go , that Emerson
would be blessed to have me. I accepted and had an amazing college experience.
Whenever I have had doubts about moving forward on a
business plan that seems close to impossible, I reflect back on that one moment
in time with my father in 1977 and move forward armed with confidence. I often
feel the need to tell him of all my love and gratitude that I feel should never
go untold but Mom reminds me that “he knows, and always has.”
What my grandmother
taught me
Jessica
My grandmother didn't teach me to cook or sew. She taught me
a much more important lesson: how to find peace. Life will never get easier;
you just get better at dealing with the difficulties. Being at peace is having
an understanding that life doesn't happen in an orderly fashion. Being at peace
is accepting that you gave something your best and that is all you can do.
Being at peace is accepting defeat and choosing to look at it as a lesson.
Being at peace is letting go of things out of your control. Being at peace is realizing
your many blessings and never taking them for granted.
My grandmother's words to me when I have encountered
difficulties have always been, “be at peace." I never truly understood
this till she explained that she is not afraid of the day she dies; she has
lived a full life with no regrets. She is at peace now and will be at peace
then.
Peace does not come from things being perfect. It is an
inner calm in your heart that cannot be shaken regardless of your
circumstances.
Joking Around
Frank
We are waiting to be seated for dinner at the Red Lion Inn.
Our name gets called and I realize my father is no longer with us. I look back
and see him with a group of middle –aged women. The women have anxious smiles
on their faces. My father looks them each in the eye as he talks. Then laughter
erupts and I know the punch line of his joke has come. He touches the woman
next to him lightly on the shoulder and excuses himself.
When he sits down I ask him to tell me the joke he told
them. He straightens in his chair and looks at me. “Okay.. so they say there
are four men a woman must know over the course of her lifetime. .. a banker, a
circus ringmaster, a preacher , and a funeral director.” I furrow my brow.
“Why?” A smile spread slowly over his face. “One for the money, two for the
show, three to get ready and four to go, go, go!” The table erupts in laughter.
My father has the ability to walk up to a group of strangers
and make them laugh. He can make the
grumpy cashier at the grocery store smile or make a frazzled young mother stop
and forget her troubles for a moment. He has a gift that touches people
everywhere he goes.
Return Ticket
Jessica
Photography takes an instant out of time, altering life by
holding still.-Dorthea Lange
Every Father’s Day/ birthday / Christmas I struggled with
what to get my grandfather, a simple man. As I sat with my cousins looking at
photos my brother had posted, my Grandmother peered over and said, “Oh yes, he
just emailed those to me.” Suddenly my grandfather threw his hands up, “Don’t
people ever print photos anymore?”
I spent the next few days pulling photos from my family
member’s social media sites and sent them in to be made into a photo book. My
grandfather's eyes light up when he opened the book to see a photo of him and
my grandmother with their children on the cover .
He smiled as he flipped through the pages. There was a page
with photos of each grandchild on the inside; Mark waterskiing, Lauren playing
soccer, Glenn and I working in their yard.
He took the book that evening to his neighbor’s house. The
photos gave him prompts to tell a story about each of us. He kept the book on
display in the living room to show guests. People who had not seen us since we
were small were able to see how much we had grown and also how proud our
grandfather was of us. Photos are a return ticket to a moment otherwise gone.
Caroline
Falling Leaves
Every fall when we would arrive at Grandma and Pa’s we would
squirm in our seats at lunchtime knowing what was coming .. playing in the
leaves! Finally we would finish and quickly put on our coats. We opened the
sliding door and ran to the backyard. Grandpa would emerge from the garage with
trash buckets and rakes. We had work to do … but first we got to play. My
sisters, cousins and I would all grab a rake and rake the leaves into large
piles, each quickly trying to make the biggest pile. Next we would go to the
corner of the yard, run, and jump in.
With our cheeks red and out of breath, we would simply lay in the leaves
and look up at the sky.
As the sun began to set, we knew it was time to get raking.
We filled all the trash buckets. Grandpa would come drag the buckets towards
the curb. As we headed back inside he would whisper to us “don’t tell your
mother” and slip us 5 dollar bills and some hard candy. One of my favorite memories was passing the
beautiful fall afternoons at our grandparents’ house playing in the leaves.
Perhaps the simple pleasures in life are the best.
The Ice Man
Jessica
As we sat around the
dinner table my grandfather explained life as a boy. He would sell newspapers
to make extra money and could not afford the five cents to take the bus back
home. He would ride his bike in the cold, in the snow, in the rain, in the
wind, and in the heat.
He explained how the ice man would come to the family home
and sell a piece of ice for five cents. My grandmother chimed in, “We had to
buy ice from the ice man too. Everyone did. " It seemed like a light bulb
went off in her mind as she looked at my cousins and I and said, " Your
grandfather and I lived in the same town , at the same time, and our fathers
had similar jobs , his father's maybe better than mine; yet he grew up poor and
I did not. Or at least I never KNEW I was poor."
The same boiling water that softens potatoes hardens eggs.
Your attitude and the attitude of those around you define your life, not your
circumstances.
Cool Drink On A Hot
Day
Jessica
I see my grandfather pulling back the curtain and looking
out the window. He is holding a water bottle . Then I see the mailwoman walking
up the pathway to the front door. She is sweating and looks tired. My
grandfather opens the door and a smile spreads across her face. “Here , have a
cold drink !” “Thanks Frank . “ It often doesn’t take much to make someone
smile. Be someone’s cool drink of water on a hot day.
Glenn
My Hero
In elementary school we had to do a project called “Who Is
Your Hero?” Most of my classmates picked actors or athletes. I chose my
grandfather. I cut out a small picture of him and pasted it on the poster. I
listed all the games he played with me and activities we did together.
I gave the assignment to Grandpa and he had it framed and
hung in the back bedroom. Once I caught him smiling and looking at it when he
got up from his desk. I knew then that this was the most important assignment I
had ever done.
My grandparents pray for me every day, have taught me to
always be courteous, and are always proud of whatever I accomplish.
My grandfather is a father figure to me and provided me a
good example. He is never too busy to spend time with me. He read to me as a
child and will just sit and talk with me now.
Sometimes the smallest memories mean the most. I am lucky to
have had such a wonderful role model in my life.
One Extra Minute
Jessica
Winter Solstice. The shortest day of the year.
Every year my grandfather would tell us that it was the
shortest day of the year but that meant every day after that we would get one
more extra minute of daylight. From out of the darkness, hope and light
returns.
Made In Manhattan
Karen
Every year on my birthday I would get dressed up and board
the train with Dad to Manhattan. Every year we made our way through the
bustling streets to Top of The Sixes ; a restaurant on top of a 41 story
building between 52nd and 53rd. Dad
would order me a Shirley temple and I be very careful not to spill it on the
bright white linen tablecloth. I would
look out of the big window next to the table at the sky.
The waiter would come and Dad would tell him, “This is my
prettiest daughter Karen and today we are celebrating something special, her
birthday.” I didn't realize till later that he also called my two sisters his
" prettiest daughter” but that didn't really matter . He has a way of
making everyone feel important. Because
of him, I try to call everyone by their names and make them feel special. My
father taught me that everyone is important and we should make sure they feel
that way.
Happy Wife, Happy
Life
Jessica
Whenever my grandmother asks my grandfather to do something
he says “Sure Sweet.” He winks at me as he gets up and shuffles over to where
he’s needed. Usually my grandmother catches the wink and rolls her eyes. I
think it has been this way for 60 years. This is Love.
Know Your Way Back
Home
Christine
Grandpa used to take me on walks, just him and I. We walked
down the street past kids squealing as they jumped into leaves of red, green,
yellow and brown. Dogs ran along fences and barked. As we walked he would tell
me to always pay attention so that when we turned around I would be able to
find my way back. We walked to the end of the street, turned the corner, made
another turn , then walked along the main road as cars zoomed by. I would see
the “Legion Ave” sign and know it was time to turn back onto their street and
that we were almost back . It taught me to pay attention to detail but more
importantly how to always find my way back home.
Sometimes when I’m stressed or anxious I remember what
Grandma told me once and go to my front door and breathe in 10 breaths of fresh
air. She has always told me “God always has a plan and will never deal you
anything you cannot handle. “ It always makes me feel better to think about
that.
I remember fun times in Grandma’s backyard, jumping in
leaves , or everyone being excited over the big easter egg hunt. The entire family sitting around the dining
room table or piling onto Grandma and Grandpa’s couch are memories I will
always treasure.
Grandma and Grandma have instilled a strong sense of faith
in me and taught me to “live for today”.
The Easter Egg Hunt
Lauren
For the Pettinato sisters, Easter at Grandma and Grandpa’s
was something to look forward to each year.
We knew the famous “Easter Egg Hunt” was coming from the moment we left
our home on a muddy Spring Vermont morning heading south to Grandma and Pa’s
house. The three of us were packed in a minivan that consisted of “Are we there
yet?”, “Stop kicking my seat!” “Mom! Christine said a bad word!”, “Are we at
the Holyoke mall yet?”
We used to stop
mid-way at either the Yankee Candle Factory or Kahunaville at the Holyoke
mall. Kahunanille was, for a child, the
ultimate Chuckey Cheese but in a tropical setting with waterfalls and jungle
music. We loved it!
After our mid-way
stop we continued and finally reached Legion Avenue in Stratford Connecticut, a
place where we all were surrounded by so much love and family. Grandma was always the first to open the door
as us girls sprinted in, looking for snacks and ready to play. Pa was right behind her to give us the
biggest hugs! Mom was next and poor Dad was stuck with the luggage.
We would chat for a
bit about school and sports and claim who had which bed then our cousins would
arrive after school. The basement was
our place of play. We would get creative
with the various random objects in that basement. “Time for dinner!” someone would yell from
above the basement staircase. We all
would rush up and sit at the table for dinner. Pa was always head of the table
and the rest of us would take a seat around him. We filled our bellies and
rolled into bed.
“IT’S EASTER!!!!”
Christine would yell as Caroline and I slowly awoke. “Get up guys - there’s an
Easter egg hunt and the eggs are filled with chocolate! The Easter bunny left
them in the back yard!” Caroline and I immediately awoke (Caroline only wakes
up fast for 3 things, chocolate, bacon, and the possibility someone is stealing
money from her piggy bank therefore she was up faster than lightening), We got
dressed in a hurry- we were ready to find this chocolate! This Easter egg hunt
was like no other, with eggs in the house, in the back yard, in the mailbox, in
the front yard etc. It was a race who
could find the most eggs first!
Although this
celebration was only one of the many Grandma and Pa gave us, there isn’t an
Easter that doesn’t go by where we don’t think about the Easters we spent at
Legion Ave. with our grandparents. As Grandma would say, “we are all so very
blessed for these memories we get to cherish.”
Have A Little Faith
Jessica
I dipped my fingers into the small bowl of holy water and
made the sign of the cross. I walked through the large wooden doors and was
greeted by a church with high ceilings and large stained glass windows; each
depicting one of the stations of the cross. My grandparents and I walked past
many empty rows to take seats near the front. This was not their usual church
but my Grandmother, a nurse , had volunteered to do checkups for those who
couldn't afford to go to the doctor . Father Mary soon entered to the sound of
organ music and began mass.
It seemed to be an ordinary mass. Then the music came. The
loud powerful voices of the small choir touched each wall and filled the
church. My hand was grasped and we began to sway. I let my hesitations go and
began to sing.
I had sang
"Hallejuah" in church many times but this was not the same. This was
the kind of music you didn't just hear but you felt. Usually at church this
would be the time I would look at my watch and begin calculating how much time
was left. Today, I looked around at the
large church still filled only by a handful of people and realized they were
smiling. They were not simply worshipping, they were celebrating.
After the mass my grandmother stayed and took blood
pressures. My grandfather talked to the other parishioners. Everyone addressed
each other by name. This was not simply a church, but a family.
This is the day I learned what it meant to praise. This is
the day I learned that faith cannot always be seen but it can always be felt.
Shoot for the Moon
Jeanine
Grandpa has always been a father figure in my life. He would
take me to karate several times a week and cheer me on to make me feel
confident, even though I was the only girl in the class. If I had a moment of
hesitation, I knew I could look over and see him smiling at me. His eyes were
always watching for my next move.
After karate, we would go to Dairy Queen. As we sat on the
bench with our ice-cream cones, sometimes he would point at the stars and say
“Always shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll still land among the
stars.”
Because of Grandma, I try to always be kind and remember
that you never know what someone else is going through. Giving things out to
the homeless with her and Grandpa has made me realize how blessed my family and
I am.
She has also taught me that death is not scary. It is a
natural part of life and not something we should live in fear of.
Both Grandma and Grandpa have taught me in different ways to
live life fully and appreciate every day.
80/20
Jessica
Life’s tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late
-Benjamin Franklin
I sat down with my grandparents to interview them about
relationships. My grandmother started, “For 60 years, you have ups and downs
but you get through them because you want to.. I can’t imagine life without
Grandpa.” She looked over at him to make sure his hearing aid was registering
what she is saying.
I asked what tips
they would give to others for a successful marriage. They told me that a sense
of humor was critical along with enjoying each other’s company, and never
staying angry. “Sometimes you will
disagree and that’s okay.. but you also need to take a step back and do an
examination of conscience.” My grandfather chimed in “People never let things
go. ..Apologize and move on. Don’t harp on it.
I ask if they think
today’s couples give up too easily. Before I can even finish the question my
grandmother quickly says, “Yes.”
I ask how they raised
four children while both working. My grandmother said, “There is no such thing
as 50/50. Sometimes all I could give was 20% and Grandpa had to give 80%.
Sometimes we both have 100% to give, but not always. My grandfather added,
“There was never ‘You do the baths and I will do the dishes.’ We just DID IT.
These four kids belonged to us and things needed to get done.”
For many years I always thought couples with a focus on
50/50 sharing of responsibilities had the key to successful relationships. Perhaps putting so much focus on “roles” we
are actually setting ourselves up for failure.
I thank my grandparents for their time and as I get up to
put my coffee cup in the sink I realize I don’t have to reach 85 years old to
be wise, I simply need to ask the right questions and listen to the answers of
the people right in front of me.
A Taste of Every
Flavor
Jessica
My grandfather would always take my cousins, my brother, and
I to Baskin Robbins for ice-cream. We would all pile into the car and sing
songs or simply loud chant “WE WANT ICE CREAM! WE WANT ICE CREAM!”
I would stand in front of the glass case and gaze wide-eyed
over all of the flavors. The windows would fog as I moved case to case. My
grandfather would say “Try something new”. I would finally decide on something
and would always smile at him and say, “Look, I’m getting something new!” He
would smile back and put a thumb up. We would get our cones and leave the
strong smell of sugar in the air conditioned store to sit outside on the
benches. It was a race to lick up the drops of ice cream as they made their way
down the cones. Sometimes I liked the new flavor. Sometimes I didn’t. I always
thought I was making my grandfather happy by trying something new but I now
realize he was just teaching me that variety is the spice of life.
Hold On
Jessica
You hold in your hands the happiness of more people than you
can imagine.
-Henry B Eyring
When we are young our parents take care of us. Whey they
grow old, we return the favor. Or that is the way it is supposed to work.
Sometimes life forces us into roles we weren't prepared for.
I watch my
grandmother brush back the hair from my mother's face and put the straw of her
drink close to her mouth. She puts the drink down and places her hand on top of
my mother's. I look at their hands as I sit in the corner of the hospital room.
My grandmother's hand is weathered; each line and age spot telling a story. Her
nails are long soft pink ovals and she wears a gold wedding band. These hands
have accomplished great things and touched many.
I flash back to my
grandmother in the hospital not long before. When I walked in I quickly clasped
her marbled hand. This made her look up smiling and say “How wonderful to see
you". I didn't stop holding her hand till the nurse came in and said she
needed her rest.
Both my grandmother
and mother are back to good health but these hospital visits made me realize that this is what family
does; when someone is weak we hold them and give them some of our strength.
Things held precious in our heart were once held precious in our hands.
Moving Day
Jessica
When I moved into an apartment of my own I had my family
over to celebrate. My grandmother sent my uncle and my brother to the car to
get my gift. A few minutes later they walked in with a large hunter- green
chest. “This,” my grandmother smiled “was my mother’s when she came from
Ireland.” My aunt gave me a tray to put on top so I could use the chest as a
coffee table. I hugged them both.
After I settled in, I sat and looked at the chest in the
center of the room. Tiny bits of green paint were chipping off and the lock was
broken. It still was the most beautiful thing in the house. I began to think
how incredible it was that a whole life fit in this one container. When I moved
I considered whether I needed to put anything in storage; storage wasn’t an option
for my great-grandmother.
A few years later it came time for me to make a decision; to
take a great job opportunity several states away or stay at home where my
friends, family and everything I knew and loved was. I thought of my great-
grandmother. She took a leap of faith that she would find a better life. And if
she didn’t, at least she would know that she tried. Sometimes in life you need
to take a step off the ledge even if you can’t see what’s below. Either you
find a landing there, or perhaps even better, you learn how to fly.
Helping Hands
Aileen
I rush into my parents’ house, frazzled from a long day of
work. My mother greets me, “Hi Aileen, how was work? She yells up the stairs,
“Kids, get your things – your mom is here!” She tells me to sit for a moment. I
hesitate but sit.
Jeanine approaches me and hugs me quickly, “Hi Mommy! Almost ready.” I can hear Glenn running down the stairs. My
mother says the kids are done with their homework. She hands me a new uniform shirt
for Glenn, something I was planning on buying when I found the time during the
week. As she hands it me I realize just how much her and my father have done
for me.
My children have gone to my parents’ house after school for
several years. When I first realized I
would be raising my two children as a single mother I felt defeated. My parents not only helped me
but also taught me important lessons about resilience. They taught me to not
wallow in self-pity, because others need you too much. They taught me that you
can handle life’s challenges because God will only give you what you can handle
(although I’ve told him he often vastly overrates my ability). I’ve learned
that life is sometimes unfair but no one ever said it was easy and you just
need to deal with it! I am extremely grateful to have such amazing supportive
parents and such wonderful grandparents for my children.
White Picket Fence
Jessica
Home should be an anchor, a port in a storm, a refuge, a
happy place in which to dwell, a place where we are loved and where we can
love.
-Marvin J Ashton
I get a familiar excited feeling when I see the white picket
fence. It was the sign as a child that we were literally around the corner from
my grandparent’s house. It was the moment of the car ride my brother and I
would squeal with delight. I enter the house
and am instantly greeted with hugs and an invitation to “sit down and have a
warm drink.”
I always feel the same way in their home, relaxed and at
peace. I’m not sure if it is because of my grandparents’ presence, the familiar
environment, or the non-cluttered simplicity that helps free my mind from
distractions. Maybe it is all of those things.
I’m not sure if it is because I’ve returned after some time
away but on this visit everywhere I look
I see memories from my childhood; the basement my cousins and I played in ,
sidewalks I rode my bike on, the porch where we all put on our Sunday best to
take photos on Easter.
I smell a faint scent of ivory soap as I sit with my
grandparents having a cup of coffee in their small kitchen. My life has taken
me across the country and while I am excited about future adventures, there
will also be a need to return to a place that feels like home. In a world
constantly evolving, we must not overlook the beauty of things that can remain
unchanged.
Drums
Jessica
My grandfather and I are driving in the car and listening to
the radio. I realize my grandfather is tapping the steering wheel in perfect
rhythm. He sees me watching his fingers and smiles as he says “ I used to play
the drums. “ “ Cool.” I will ask him
more about it when the song is finished. He goes back to tapping. His eyes are
on the road but they are also somewhere else.
Our grandparents did many things in their life before they
became grandparents. A smell, a sound or catching a glimpse of something may
bring them back to a different time in their life. Take that journey with them.
Closing
Sometimes we think an action is too simple to mean
much. But the stories in this novella
show otherwise- that simple actions are what people remember the most. We may
not be able to change the world but we CAN change the world for one person.
The values of Kay and
Frank have been passed onto their children and onto their children’s children.
The chain will never stop. The lessons they taught us will last a lifetime.
Memories are only forgotten if we let them be and in our family, we never will.
