Have a Little Faith

I dipped my fingers into the small bowl of holy water and made the sign of the cross. I walked through the large wooden doors and was greeted by a church with high ceilings and large stained glass windows; each depicting one of the stations of the cross. My grandparents and I walked past many empty rows to take seats near the front. This was not their usual church but my Grandmother , a nurse , had volunteered to do checkups for those who couldn't afford to go to the doctor . Father Mary soon entered to the sound of organ music and began mass.

It seemed to be an ordinary mass. Then the music came. The loud powerful voices of the small choir touched each wall and filled the church. My hand was grasped and we began to sway. I let my hesitations go and began to sing.

I had sang Hallejuah in church many times but this was not the same. This was the kind of music you didn't just hear but you felt. Usually at church this would be the time I would look at my watch and begin calculating how much time was left.  Today , I looked around at the large church still filled only by a handful of people and realized they were smiling. They were not simply worshipping , they were celebrating.

After the mass my grandmother stayed and took blood pressures. My grandfather talked to the other parishioners. Everyone addressed each other by name . This was not simply a church, but a family.

This is the day I learned what it meant to praise . This is the day I learned that faith cannot always be seen but it can always be felt .

Hold On

You hold in your hands the happiness of more people than you can imagine.
-Henry B Eyring


When we are young our parents take care of us. Whey they grow old, we return the favor. Or that is the way it is supposed to work. Sometimes life forces us into roles we weren't prepared for.

I watch my grandmother brush back the hair from my mother's face and put the straw of her drink close to her mouth. She puts the drink down and places her hand on top of my mother's. I look at their hands as I sit in the corner of the hospital room. My grandmother's hand is weathered ; each line and age spot telling a story. Her nails are long soft pink ovals and she wears a gold wedding band. These hands have accomplished great things and touched many.

I flash back to my grandmother in the hospital not long before . When I walked in I quickly clasped her marbled hand. This made her look up smiling and say " How wonderful to see you". I didn't stop holding her hand till the nurse came in and said she needed her rest.

Both my grandmother and mother are back to good health but these hospital visits  made me realize that this is what family does; when someone is weak we hold them and give them some of our strength. Things held precious in our heart were once held precious in our hands.

A Taste of Every Flavor

My grandfather would always take my brother and I to Baskin Robbins for icecream.I would stand in front of the glass freezers and gaze wide-eyed over all of the flavors. The windows would fog as I moved case to case. 

My grandfather would lean over and whisper  ,“ Try something new”. I would finally decide on something and would always smile at him and say, “ Look, I’m getting something new!” He would smile back and put a thumb up. We would get our cones and leave the strong smell of sugar in the air conditioned store to sit outside on the benches. It was a race to lick up the drops of icecream as they made their way down the cones. The last bite where the ice cream pools inside the bottom of the cone was my favorite part. 

 Sometimes I liked the new flavor. Sometimes I didn’t. I always thought I was making my grandfather happy by trying something new but I now realize he was just teaching me that variety is the spice of life.

A Taste of Every Flavor

My grandfather would always take my brother and I to Baskin Robbins for icecream.I would stand in front of the glass freezers and gaze wide-eyed over all of the flavors. The windows would fog as I moved case to case. 

My grandfather would lean over and whisper  ,“ Try something new”. I would finally decide on something and would always smile at him and say, “ Look, I’m getting something new!” He would smile back and put a thumb up. We would get our cones and leave the strong smell of sugar in the air conditioned store to sit outside on the benches. It was a race to lick up the drops of icecream as they made their way down the cones. The last bite where the ice cream pools inside the bottom of the cone was my favorite part. 

Sometimes I liked the new flavor. Sometimes I didn’t. I always thought I was making my grandfather happy by trying something new but I now realize he was just teaching me that variety is the spice of life.

Take Me To The Ball Game

Mark

I was going , maybe 5 , when Grandpa decided it was time for my first Red Sox game. I woke up early that day and put on my little red jersey. We boarded the big bus with the cushy seats and tv's ; I was amazed - tv's on a bus ! During the ride Grandpa tells me all the exciting things I would experience at the game. I grew antsy and had to work to stay calm in my seat.

Finally we reached our destination. We had our tickets ripped and entered the turnstiles. Then we took a couple flights of stairs up to our seats. “There it is. “ , Grandpa said. I peered up from under my baseball cap. THE GREEN MONSTER stood before me in all of its glory. I settled into the hard,plastic seat and put my baseball glove on my lap; I've been practicing my catching all week in case a ball came our way.

The smells of sugar and butter filled the air as spectators began to take their seats. “Peanuts ! Get your peanuts here ! Hot dogs ! Ice cream ! Ice cold beer here ! “ Grandpa ordered us hot dogs, peanuts , and a big cold coke to share. I don't remember the game starting. When I woke up we were on the bus. Grandpa smiled at me “ Did you have a good time ? “ best time of my life. “ I nuzzled into his shoulder and fell back to sleep.

And this memory continues to serve as one of the best days of my life.  Even though Grandpa missed his favorite team play , he didn't ever make me realize it. He taught me that some times there is more satisfaction to making someone else happy besides yourself.

Taste of Flight : My First Flight Experience

Once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been , and there you will always long to return.

- Leonardo da Vinci

I enter the aviation school and meet the pilot I will be flying with, Mike . " Is it just you? Usually people bring their family or spouse." " Nope, just me." " I didn't think anyone would sign up to fly at 9 am on a Sunday.." "Well, I didn't want to give myself any time to be nervous today."  " You don't need to be nervous. I'm not nervous and it's my first time flying too!" He smiles wide. I laugh.

We head out to the tarmac . As we walk past the planes they begin to decrease in size. We get to the  smallest plane on the lot , just big enough fit the two of us. Mike stops . My eyes widen. " THIS ONE?!" Mike laughs. " That is exactly the reaction I was expecting from you ." I climb up and strap in. We latch the windows , put on our headsets , Mike hits a couple buttons in the cockpit , and we are off. We go down the runway and before I know it we are taking off. After a few minutes my stomach begins to churn as we hit some slight turbulence. "Don't worry this will pass" he tells me.

Soon we are coasting smoothly. I look below. The clear blue water is sparkling. I see the tops of adobe roofs, trees, and tiny cars below. I look at them any controls in front of me and watch as Mike flips things on and off and pulls levers to make small adjustments . He tells me to put my hands on the steering wheel. He explains that turning to the right or left steers the plane but pulling the steering wheel out allows you to make the plane go up or down. A skilled pilot, however, makes the ascend or descend seamless . He asks if I get scared easily and before I could answer he pulls the steering wheel out and down and then up quickly . The sudden turbulence makes my stomach flip. " That is what happens if you didn't do it properly. Man-made turbulence. " I grasp my heart and ,once I catch my breath ,I laugh.  After  a short time of letting me hold the wheel in front of me, Mike tells me he will take back the controls, though I suspect he had them the whole time.

Soon we are flying over swampland. It looks like dark green cotton candy is covering the water below. After a few minutes , we turn around and begin to head back. Mike offers to open the door and allow me to conquer several scary things at once: flying, skydiving , and scuba diving . I tell him maybe next time. He holds up his hand to cut me off as the dispatcher begins giving him landing instructions. We approach the runway and slowly descend. I barely feel the plane touch down. We high five and exit the plane.

When I explained to someone that I would I would be going flying even though I was terrified , his response caught me off-guard. He said , " It sounds like you are braver than you realize . You admit to being scared of things but do them anyway. Courage is defined, not as the absence of fear ,but the ability to act despite the presence of fear. "

My wings have always existed. What has changed is that  now I have learned how to fly.

80/20

 

Life’s tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late

-Benjamin Franklin

I sat down with my grandparents to interview them about relationships. My grandmother started, “ For 60 years , you have ups and downs but you get through them because you want to.. I can’t imagine life without Grandpa.” She looked over at him to make sure his hearing aid was registering what she is saying.

I asked what tips they would give to others for a successful marriage. They told me that a sense of humour was critical , along with enjoying each other’s company, and never staying angry.  “ Sometimes you will disagree and that’s okay.. but you also need to take a step back and do an examination of conscience.” My grandfather chimed in “ People never let things go. ..apologize and move on. Don’t harp on it.

I asked if they think today’s couples give up too easily. Before I can even finish the question my grandmother quickly said, “Yes.”

I asked how they raised four children while both working . My grandmother said, “There is no such thing as 50/50. Sometimes all I could give was 20%  and Grandpa had to give 80%. Sometimes we both have 100% to give , but not always. My grandfather added, “There was never ‘ You do the baths and I will do the dishes.’ We just DID IT. These four kids belonged to us and things needed to get done.”

For many years I always thought couples with a focus on 50/50 sharing of responsibilities had the key to successful relationships.  Perhaps when putting so much focus on “roles” we are actually setting ourselves up for failure.

I thanked my grandparents for their time and as I got up to put my coffee cup in the sink I realized I don’t have to reach 85 years old to be wise, I simply need to ask the right questions and listen to the answers of the people right in front of me.