I slip on my snug fitting, flat bottomed climbing shoes, tie them up and step into the harness. My instructor tightens the straps around me, which hug my inner thighs. I step onto the dark blue mat in the climbing room and see a man on the wall. His foot suddenly slips but he quickly regains his footing. “Nice to know you..goodbye..” plays on the radio. Great, I think to myself.
I look up at the climbing wall. Different paths are marked by different colored pieces of masking tape: bright pink, purple, neon yellow, black, green red and blue; labeled with names and dates which I soon learn signify different routes and degrees of difficulty. Differed colored and sized grips, shaped like doorknobs, squares and other shapes dot the wall.
My guide, Andrew, pale with a short layer of fuzzy blonde hair, wears a pair of brown shorts and a Class of ‘08’ t-shirt. After introducing himself he asks if I’ve ever climbed before. “Well, yes but I wasn’t successful so that is why I am here today.” He said, “Well, today you will be successful, I will make sure of it.”
Andrew instructs me to say, “Belay on?” He then double checks his belay and says, “Belay on.” I learn that belaying will protect me from falling using the rope, friction and an anchor. He assures me he is experienced and has never had anyone fall.
Next , I step to the wall and say “climbing”. Andrew says, “Climb away.” I step onto the first rock on my path to the top. I take a deep breath as I reach up and grip the chalky rock. My life is now in the hands of a man I just met.
Why am I on this rock? Several years ago in Garden of the Gods in Colorado I as on a rock, a “real” rock, with the members of a camp I was attending that summer. I stood at the edge of the cliff. “Take a step down,” the man told me. A sudden surge of terror swept over me. After a long minute or two, I took a step backwards off the cliff and walked my way backwards towards the bottom.
Next, it was time to lean off the cliff. “Think about letting go of your worries” the counselors said. Letting go? I freak out when my coffee isn’t right, I thought. So I got to the edge of the cliff , once again. “ Fall forward, I have the rope.” I looked back at the man. He must have seen the worry in my face, “Really I have it. You have a backup too.”I turned and looked forward. I started to lean towards the group watching below. He told me to keep leaning but my knees locked up. I looked down for a moment; some scattered green trees stood in the middle of a circle of rocks.
Climbing up the cliff was the last challenge. I placed my foot on a nook. I pulled myself up. Another nook, another pull up. But then suddenly I found myself stuck. I tried to reach the next spot and pull myself up but I didn’t have enough strength. “Come on –you can do it! I heard someone say. I stayed up there for another 10 minutes before coming back down, red-faced and humiliated. The rest of the group, even the smaller girls, had completed the task. The exercise at Garden of the Gods was to teach us confidence but I walked away more uncertain of myself.
During my day at CT Rock Gym I did two climbs on the beginning wall before deciding to move to a more challenging one. Andrew said, “You will be amazed at how fast you can progress.” I realized that the successful climbs on the beginner wall gave me confidence to try the more advanced wall. He showed me how to tie a knot in the rope by creating a “figure eight”. I held one rope and mimicked the moments he made on the other. My knot didn’t look as perfect as his but I reminded myself I had come here to focus on climbing and let him tie the knot on my rope.
On my fourth and final trip to the top of the indoor rock wall, I began to feel fatigue in my arms. I had been climbing for about 45 minutes. It began to get hard harder to reach for each next rock. I slipped and groaned. “Try again! Try switching the placement of your hands,” Andrew’s voice echoed from below. I reached again and couldn’t reach high enough. “Come on- you’re going to finish!” I stand still for a minute, my body pressed against the wall. I know I can do this and don’t want to leave without finishing. I tell myself that if I slip I can always get back up, that is what the safety is for.
I push myself up with the strength in my legs and reach high for the next hook. As I reach it I keep using my momentum to reach up again and place both hands on the top and final hook. I did it! I keep my hands on the rock for a few seconds to savor the feeling. Then I lean back, place my hands on the large knot in my rope and put my legs straight out on the wall. I slowly walk them down as I belay down.
I touch the ground. My heart is racing quickly and my face feels heated. I shake my arms out. Andrew says, “Good job!” and slaps me a high five. I notice a woman climbing and her friend holding her rope. I stop to watch her climb as I catch my breath. I realize she uses her arms only for balance and moves up the wall by the strength of her legs, her body stance resembling a triangle. Her feet don’t make the loud noise mine did when I climbed. She moves in a fluid motion, keeping her body close to the wall. The wall, an obstacle to me, was her canvas that she moved across gracefully.
I plop down on the soft grey couch to take off my shoes. My body aches but I feel exhilarated and accomplished. The next day, I felt only slightly sore in my arms, shoulders and chest. My only battle wound was a small scratch on my kneecap.
The indoor wall and harness had allowed me the confidence to experiment and find solutions. Instead of giving up, I just needed to focus on different ways to reach my goal. When I looked straight up at the rock at the top, I felt like I was never going to make it there, but when I focused on one rock at a time -all of a sudden I was at the top.
*Writer's Note: This is a story I previously wrote and since then the CT Rock Gym has closed so if you search for it on the web you will not find it :( . *
